I then pushed off to a bash in Harrow, unfortunately, and was struck by this poster in the tube. A little tricky to make out, it reads, "Simply eating less pastry can help reduce your saturated fat intake." How much pastry do they think we English munch? Scarcely a patisserie in the country. They should come to France.
Before I got on the tube, I spotted a trio of sizable Americans struggling with the ticket machine as though it were the most alien thing in the world; rather like goats might struggle with a bottle of ketchup, perhaps.
I pressed all the right buttons for them and one of them suddenly whipped out a little blue, red and white Texan shaped key-ring and thrust it into my paw. "We're from Texas," she said. "It opens bottles [indicating the key-ring]. Thanks."
Extraordinary. Was she actually trundling around the country with a large collection of Texan key-rings to offer to unsuspecting Brits who happened to take pity? Or had she given me her personal key-ring in an act of disproportionate gratitude? I am not sure which would be weirder.
I've been hankering after a bottle opener and a key-ring in the shape of Texas for some time, so this beauty kills two birds with one stone.
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